sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
