the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
