Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
