Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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