I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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