My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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