I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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