apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
