This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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