does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
