I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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