Whod you bang
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He did a backflip because drugs
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
