oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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