Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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