He uses pillows to masturbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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