Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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