she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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