New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
