marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
