Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
