More tranny stories later!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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