do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
there is glitter all over my balls
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
