Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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