I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
