No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
