you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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