vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize