you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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