i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize