He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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