I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
