Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
