using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
