weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
