butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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