Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
