Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
