i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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