i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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