I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
