some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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