Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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