Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
