I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
