Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
