Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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