clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
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