Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
