i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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