I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
