Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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