In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Apparently you make a good broom.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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