oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
