How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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