her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They should really pass out barf bags in church
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
