I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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