thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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