I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We need to get me chipped asap
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
