By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
