i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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