we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
